I'll never cry this is the best way to move on my life.

Ntah kali ni tajuk blog xde.
So,this is me.

I want space. Can everyone understand that?





Dr.Dizzie still longer be the sad little girl that lost her dad. I will start fresh, be someone new. It's the only way I'll make it through. 'People Do NoT Understand Sometimes'

I AM A ALONER

ALL I NEED by WITHIN TEMPTATION

I'm dying to catch my breath 

Oh, Why don't  I ever learn?

I've lost all my trust,

Though I surely tried to turn it around

Can you still see the HEART of me?

All my agony fades away

when you hold me in your embrace..

Don't tear me down for all i need 

Make my heart a better place

Give me something I can believe 

''Don't tear it down''what's left for me

MAKE MY HEART A BETTER PLACE

I tried many times but nothing was real

Make it fade away, don't break me down

I want to believe that this thing is for real

Save me from my fear 

Don't tear me down

''Make my heart a better place''

-Dr.Dizzie still longer be the sad little girl that lost her dad. I will start fresh, be someone new. It's the only way I'll make it through. 'People Do NoT Understand Sometimes'

Dear, Diary SAYA TAK NAK RAYA TAHUN NI..

Baju raya pon aku tak mau pakai. Lantak la. dah tak de makne sume tu. same ngan  aku. Die pon same.
ntah aku tak nak raya sebab tak de preparation baik2. Walaupon mak die ade ajak datang sane ntah la.. situasi sekarang macam tak selamat. boleh ke nk tanye korang
'' memang kalau seorang doktor kne kahwin ngn bercinta ngn orang pndai + hensem ke?
Kalo laki tu kje biase 2 je... tak de pakai kereta, muke tak hensem tak boleh bercinta ke?
Kenape ek orang suke tgok paras rupe + harta benda?

Dulu penah gak kenal ngn orang yg kje sedap2 duit pon sedap je. ntah aku tak nak sume tu. sbb aku boleh cari. I HATE PERFECTION.,there's no such thing in this world.
nak tau.. aku kecewa sangat2 ngn orang 2 yg cari kesempurnaan tapi die tak se sempurna mane pon.

ye..memamg aku panas baran...bad tempered!
aku bukan budak baik
n ni je satu2 care aku dapat teruskan hidup.!
lau orang tak boleh terima,,,boleh pegi jauh dari aku.
sayonara!


Dr.Dizzie still longer be the sad little girl that lost her dad. I will start fresh, be someone new. It's the only way I'll make it through. 'People Do NoT Understand Sometimes'

'Apologizing' - 'Memaafkan'

pernah tak korang bagi lagu kat seseorang sebagai tanda minta maaf??

I never apologizing or ask for apologize before.

So, here from me ''Back To December" by Taylor Swift. 

''Back To December'' - lagu yang aku dengar mase dalam kereta on da way nak pegi submit 'research' aku. When I hear this song only ONE person that I had in my thought.  This was the first song that adresses to me. in that I've never apologized someone in a song before. This is about a person who was ''incredible'' to me, just perfect to me in a relationship. And I was really careless with him. So this is a song full of words that I would say to him. Aku harap 'seseorang' tu akan bace ape yg aku tulis ni & aku tau die tau yang aku sangat2 suka lagu ni.  

I'm so glad you made time to see me,

How's life tell me, How's your family?

I haven't see them in a while,

You've been good busier than ever

We small talk,work and the weather

Your guard is up and I know why

Because the last time 

you see me still burn in the back of your mind  

So this is me swallowing my pride,

Standin' in front of you, 

Sayin' I'm sorry for that night

And I go back to December all the time

It's turn out freedom ain't nothin'

but missin' you,

Wishin' I realized what I had when you were mine..

I go back to December, turn around and make it alright 

I go back to December all the time...

These days I haven't been sleeping 

Stayin' up playin' back myself leavin 

When your birthday passed I didn't call 

And I think about the summer all the times

I watched you laughin' from the passenger side and

Realized I loved you in the fall

Then the cold came, the dark days when fear crept into my mind

''You gave me all your love 

and all I gave you was goodbye...''

'I MISS YOUR TAN SKIN,'

'YOUR SWEET SMILE'

'SO GOOD TO ME, SO RIGHT'

And how you held me in your arms that September night

The first time you ever saw me cry :'(

''Maybe this is wishful thinking''

Probably mindless dreaming

 

(He used to give me a second chances to love him back. But I just skrewed it. I'll never see you as a friend. I never really gave up because all that I did was pick myself up and tried to be happy. 

It's not call as LOVE for me and it hurts so much...so much...)

So..

I'd go back in time and change it but I can't, 

so if  the chain is on your door I understand

                                i wish that i could back to when i dumped him and take it back but realizing that I can't. I know that I hurt him in the past when I dumped him. So i understands if he has 'chains on his door' meaning he doesn't want to take me back in fear of getting hurt again because he love me so much and it went nowhere.

The lyrics speak exactly what I want to say to him all the time. I wish we never left each other  and I regret everyday since December.
''Regretting letting go someone who loves you
and love someone who doesn't love you back was the worst feeling ever''

-menyesal melepaskan seseorang yg menyayangi diri kita & menyayangi seseorang yang tidak sayangkan diri kite seadenya. TAPI ape yang berlaku mempunyai hikmah tersendiri. I can relate it to him because even though he was probably a good boyfriend. ...kadang-kadang CINTA saje tak cukup. kena serasi lau tak serasi same2.. well it's never goin' to work out. I was with the guy like this before, he would have done anything for me.. tapi akhirnye... saya rase saya tak happy. saya tak nak lukakan perasaan awak sebabnya saya memang sayang awak tapi bukan 'sayang' macam yang awak sayang kat saya. memang sedih tapi perasaan tak boleh pakse.

- MAAF-

 :'(

  

Dear Diary, everyday has to be different. It has to be.

My smile will say, ''I'm fine, thank you. Yes, I feel much better.

Dr.Dizzie still longer be the sad little girl that lost her dad.
I will start fresh, be someone new. It's the only way I'll make it through.
 'People Do NoT Understand Sometimes'

Dear Diary, Raya dah nak dekat. Dah 9 tahun aku tak raye same2 ngan seorang ayah :'(

actually, aku memang pndai 'hide' feeling sedih ,merane, marah, sakit hati, terase hati, terluka  dengan seyuman macam kat bawah ni...... 

so that people will never know what kind of pain that i'm suffer for. I can smile with a big smile in the picture but the reality it was never the same. cume aku tak tau ape makne senyuman tu sebenarnye? 

aku rase tak de sape yang faham perasaan tu. tapi cuba untk memahami perasaan kehilangan seorang insan. Setiap orang akan tiba gilirannya. Aku dah merasainya. Jadi, aku tau ape yg berlaku. Mungkin pada sesiapa yg masih ade ayah ngan mak takkan ade rasa kosong.Mungkin tak same macam perasaan aku. Dalam hati siape yg tahu? Dah 9 tahun..macam tu la aku lalui hari-hari yang datang. Kalau orang yang penah buli aku dulu-dulu, benci aku mase dulu-dulu, dengki ngan aku mase dulu-dulu.. ni je la yg aku dapat balas.(senyum)...sebab orang tak faham 'rase kosong' aku tu.
'But I do it.. Because they have managed to alienate everyone else in my life and I am the only one, So I have to step up and do it. You want to know why I'm so unfocused? So ordinary? You want to what happened to me? '' rase kosong! rase kosOng yg ade pada aku.!''

Asyi's Anatomy

I could be a great heart surgeon someday's. That's what my late dad told me when I was 7 years old. I want to be a doctor. That's why i create my own ''Asyi's Anatomy apparently it's not like Grey's Anatomy even i love the show so much. It is all about who i am and what i am.

1.1 Introduction to Human Anatomy & Physiology.

After completting a grueling course for this 3 years, there are so many times i couldn't take the stress anymore. me and my best friend Nur Ilhami always asking this question on each other ......

'' Who here feels like they have no idea what they're doing? ''

Because the first years started with a lot of tough subjects that easy to take you on.

1. Bahasa Inggeris
2. Bahasa Kebangsaan A
3. Pengantar Aqidah
4. Biosains
5. Sains Tingkahlaku
6. Mikrobiologi Perubatan
7. Anatomi & Fisiologi 1
8. Anatomi & Fisiologi 2
9. Fiqh Al-Ibadat

Anatomy and Physiology for me was the basic one.but it was really tough. 
bayangkan nota untuk subjek ni sje aku simpan muat2 untuk satu kotak...maknanye mmg banyak yang kne bace. semester satu memang subjek yg banyak kne bace. bagi aku dah macam aku masuk dunia baru.membace tu mmg perkara lazim membaca n terus masuk dlm kple otak sekaligus menjadi perkara biase bg aku sbb dalam dunia perubatan,you have to keep reading,reading,and reading....and memorize it. 
Once you make a mistake while giving a wrong treatment @ medication you will kill a person.!
Tak cukup dengan subjek yg susah..itu mungkin takde masalah bagi aku sbb cume perlu belajar shje. ni pulak ditambah dgn kemudahan2 yg disediakan tak padan dgn 1 k aku bayar masa mula2 masuk belaja.
Yuran pengajian belaja perubatan ni total kesemuanya 81,000...for government student total nya 120,000..hmmm...nasib baik la aku disponsor lau tak mane aku nk cari duit banyak2...hurmm..lepas ni aku cter dalam chapter 3.6


Everyday the same routine go to the class. time ni aku ''single'' aku tak de relationship ngan sesape. mmg sangat2 bagus untuk otak aku. ' FOKUS ' I was 18 years old when I am going to this medical college. There are a lot of students studying here. hmm...
let's studying.....mase semester 1 mmg aku study betul2... aku stay up pagi2 kadang2 stay up tapi tido badan penat..otak letih. Bayangkan membace time3 org tgh syok tido.mmg ngantok sangat2.. 

To study them I need a book! There are a few book that i used to study them.

 

There are a few things that I must have in my hand. maknenye sume dalam tangan. 

a) The Cells And Tissues
( I have to memorize all the parts and their functions) 
bila orang tanye mmg kne tahu jawab.hahahhahahha :D


b)Tissues
-  Epthelial Tissues
-  Connective Tissues
-  Muscle Tissues
-  Nerve Tissues

 HOMEOSTASIS... (hm--stss)
masa2 mula2 jumpe perkataan ni mmg aku pon tak tahu. sampai selalu tertukar2 makne die..
Dalam kamus Jururawat Edisi Kedua  muka surat 238..
''Homeostasis'' ni bermaksud melalui sistem internal tubuh proses fisiologi dapat mengekalkan keseimbangan walaupun terdapat perubahan pada keadaan- keadaan di luar.

Kamus ni umpama buku yg telah banyak berjasa pada aku sampai bila2...sebab aku  still ade kamus ni walaupon dah 2-3 kali hilang...tapi berbaloi kalau beli lagi. kalau lecturer tanye kt depan..sbb x bawak note kamus ni byk tolong aku goreng2 jawapan. hahahahahaha:DDD

ORGANS SYSTEM

Sistem organ kite ade 9 sistem kesemuanya.haha..bg aku sume student para perubatan mesti dah tau.kan.kan.kan....

untuk dipendekkan cerita antara sistem yg susah aku nk ingat adelah :-

1) Dalam topik Skeletal System anatara anatomi tulang aku ingat2 lupa adalah tulang pelvik....wuahahahahaaaaa....  

 kalau bg gambar kosong mcm ni ;- mmg aku dapat kosong la..mmg dah lme aku susah untuk mengingatinye.....:(

 2) Muscular System =)

otot2 otot...ototototototototototototttttttttttttttttttttttt....

mmg banyak sangat otot kt tubuh kite nih...

3) The Cardiovascular System

jengjengjeng.....nak tau knape kah ia susah...ntah mungkin otak aku x bpe cair psal jantung2 ni..

The Anterior View Of The Heart ;-

Interior View Of The Heart.

Internal View Of The Heart:-

4) The Nervous Systems

Nervous gak kalo aku yg di soal...pasal 12 saraf kranial....

O...O...O....TO....TOUCH...A girl Vaginal..AH......siap ade lagu lagi nk kasi ingat2...

NTAH ...kadang3 tersilap...lau nk tau ni la 12 saraf kranial....

ni la 12 saraf kranial tu.....mmg kne ingat.hahaha...even kdg2 selalu tertukar2...hehehhehe:D 

Ni pon salah satu buku yg telah tolong aku. aku beli buku ni mase semester 5 mase tu aku prkatikal kat unit OTORINOLARINGOLOGI,. aku ingat lagi mase tu sorang doktor yg tgh ambik master beli buku ni.. aku pon tumpang kaki sekali tengok buku tu pasal aku minat sangat ngan buku. Doktor yg jual buku ni name die DR. Kamaruddin. Harge buku nie RM150.. bagi aku aku tak kisah spend duit untuk buku. sebab berbaloi..so aku pon beli la buku tu minggu depan. ni lahh buku die...

hmmm...ni saje yg aku boleh coretkan dlm bab2 belaja anatomi n fisiologi ni..

akhir2 sekali lpas exam semester 1 subjek anatomi & fisiologi ni aku dapat 'B'

Lpas je exam kitorang dihantar posting ke hospital 2 minggu bagi penempatan elektif kt wad medical ngan wad surgical..2 minggu ni aku dpt demam..haha.mungkin infeksi byk sngt....nanti aku cter dalam chapter 1.2 First posting dapat 'HRPZ ll'. k.selamat membaca =) love always.

LAst sekali terima kasih sangat2 pada semua pengajar pembantu perubatan intake jun 08' for willing to teach me n my friends.

I am proud to be

 Penolong Pegawai Perubatan U29.

Be Fearless And Speak Now

There's a few song that I would suggest for you to hear from her, Taylor Swift :-

1. Teardrops on My Guitar
2. Hey Stephene
3. Fearless
4. Back To December
5. Last Kiss
6. Sparks Fly
7. The Best Day

Ya Allah..aku percaya..saat aku ikhlas..Engkau akan berikan pengganti atas semua kehilanganku..bahkan lebih dari itu.

wahhhhhhhhh.......nak makan lagi..............

muke budak dapat makan bakso malam tu..........

to MrsHappyCouple Reason 11: You are happily beautiful 

and beautifully happy.

to MrsHappycouple Reason 20 : You're real, fun,enjoyable,  

                                           such good company friend tome

to MrsHappycouple : He already called me ''Panda'' twice! Is there

   something more to it or he just running out of animals?

to MrsHappycouple : We've only just begun...indeed. 

You (after you know Who) make me the happiest men in the world! I Luv u

to MrHappyCouple : my love, I love to love you.

to MrHappyCouple : I can't wait to see you my love,
 two weeks away from you is like ages, I'm so incomplete here...
to MrHappyCouple : You should have known me by now, my eyes were teary when you left 
me at the station... Hate to leave you my love :-(